Friday, November 10, 2006

words of wisdom

>A time comes in your life when you finally get it . . . when in the
>midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and
>somewhere the voice inside your head cries out: ENOUGH! Enough fighting
>and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down
>after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or
>twice, you blink back your tears, and through a mantle of wet lashes you
>begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You
>realize that it`s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to
>change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the
>next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince
>Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there
>aren`t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that
>any guarantee of `happily ever after` must begin with you and in the
>process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
>You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone
>will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are . . .and
>that`s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you
>learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the
>process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
>You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to
>you (or didn`t do for you,) and you learn that the only thing you can
>really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don`t always
>say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will
>always be there for you and that it`s not always about you. So, you
>learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself, and in the
>process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
>You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as
>they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in
>the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.
>You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around
>you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been
>ingrained into your psyche.
>You begin to sift through all the crap you`ve been fed about how you
>should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you
>should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where
>you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep
>with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the
>importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.
>You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
>begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for.
>You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
>discard the doctrines and values you`ve outgrown, or should never have
>bought into to begin with ,and in the process you learn to go with your
>You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is
>power and glory in creating and contributing. You stop maneuvering
>through life merely as a `consumer` looking for your next fix. Your
>learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated
>ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the
>foundation upon which you must build a life.
>You learn that you don`t know everything, that it`s not your job to save
>the world and that you can`t teach a pig to sing. You learn to
>distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and you learn the
>importance of setting boundaries and of learning to say NO. You learn
>that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that
>martyrs get burned at the stake.
>Then you learn about love: Romantic love and familiar love. You learn
>how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to
>walk away.
>You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a
>relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more
>intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man or woman on
>your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at
>relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You
>stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that
>just as people grow and change so it is with love. And you learn that
>you don`t have the right to demand love on your terms.
>And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the
>mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5
>or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside
>your head and agonizing over how you `stack up.`
>You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
>things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of
>entitlement are perfectly OK, and you learn that it is your right to
>want things and to ask for the things that you want--and that sometimes
>it is necessary to make demands.
>You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
>kindness, sensitivity, and respect ,and you decide you won`t settle for
>less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to
>glorify you with his or her touch . . . and in the process you
>internalize the meaning of self-respect.
>And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to
>care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet,
>drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that
>fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take
>more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our
>soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
>You learn that for the most part, in life, you get what you believe you
>deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
>You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
>wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making
>it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success
>you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no
>one can do it all alone and that it`s OK to risk asking for help.
>You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber
>baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through
>your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and
>to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
>And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under
>a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn`t always fair, you
>don`t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes `bad`
>things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn
>not to personalize things. You learn that God isn`t punishing you or
>failing to answer your prayers. It`s just life happening.
>And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: the ego. You
>learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be
>understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and
>poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are
>wrong and to building bridges instead of walls.
>You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple
>things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the
>earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a
>soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
>Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and
>you make yourself a promise never to betray yourself and never, ever to
>settle for less than your heart`s desire. And you hang a wind chime
>outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make a point
>to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful
>Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a deep breath and you
>begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
>author unknown

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